Lilongwe Water Board strike

I read with interest yesterday an article in the newspaper that 5 LWB staff members had been arrested by police for disconnecting water supply to certain parts of Lilongwe during their recent industrial action. While I appreciate that prison is a nasty place to be I think it sends a very powerful message to other like minded selfish individuals. The industrial action had nothing to do with residents of the city and as such there was no need for people to suffer.

24 hour clinic

Early this morning I walked into a 24 hour clinic to see if I could get some treatment. I found two ladies sitting on the visitors chairs drinking tea and watching TV. They greeted me then hesitated a bit before one of them mumbled something. When I asked what she said, "A dokotala kulibe" (the doctor is not in) was her mumbled reply because of the food in her mouth. Then both her and her companion continued to drink their breakfast and chat away. When asked what time the doctor would be in "Chamma 8" (around 8). Looking inside the treatment room I saw no nurse and assumed she must be off too.

Two nights ago when I went to the same clinic I found a huge group of people waiting to be attended to. Reason? There was no doctor so someone had gone to pick him up in another part of town! No explanation or apologies from the receptionist, a different one from the ones I found today. People kept coming in and she just welcomed them as if nothing was wrong.

Need I say more

As Malawi votes

As Malawi inches closer to the 2009 general elections focus is being turned towards who will and can stand. The most contentious issue remains the candidacy of former president Bakili Muluzi. Parliamentary aspirants also continue to battle it out in their primaries. Serving MP's have fallen. Ministers have fallen. Aspirants are being abducted. People are crying foul. Top party officials are nearly trading blows. All very good for a healthy democracy (of course not the trading of blows).

But there is one issue that I would like to bring up and it is do with the voters. Who should be eligible to vote? I say tax payers only. Why? Answer below

The rural masses are largely unemployed and uneducated and they don't pay taxes. Amongst them you will find hardcore, die hard supporters of political leaders. However due to their economic and literary status many of these people are easily swayed by lies, exaggerations and money. Support for a person or party is based on emotions rather than on facts. Unfortunately most crooked politicians have bags full of lies, they grossly exaggerate issues and they tend to have a little more money than the other slightly more trustworthy candidates. Want examples? Just look around. As such, intentionally or not, these non-tax payers have the capability of putting jerks in power because they are swayed by K50’s and promises of bridges where there are not very many streams. For a tax payer like me, I vote with a little more caution because I know what sort of burdens certain politicians are capable of heaping onto society in general and on me in particular. And at the end of the day the non-tax payers he will continue to look up to me in town to provide for the needs of the people in the village. He votes into power a petty thief who will pocket my P.A.Y.E. tax and run down the economy while at the same expect me to willingly support him.

I say produce a TPIN or PAYE certificate at the polling station and be allowed to vote. If you don’t contribute to the national coffers you should not be allowed to choose who gets to manage them!!

Power sharing

I have heard one strong view on the two recent power sharing deals we have seen in Kenya and Zimbabwe. People have argued that it sets a bad precedence that allows ruling parties to steal the vote and later appease the opposition by sharing power later on. This is a valid argument but I would also like to look at it from the other angle.

Recently we saw Michael Sata of Zambia declaring before people even cast their vote that he would not accept defeat at the hands of Rupia Banda. So now we have a scenario where even if ruling parties do get into power legitimately there will be opposition figures who will be hell bent on getting into power in the name of power sharing. We have to be on watch for greedy politicians on both sides, some people will not leave any stone unturned in an effort to get their hands on power.

In a related development on BBC Focus on Africa today there was a report that a lone man in a Nairobi pub was nearly kicked out after showing support for John McCain when nearly everyone else in the pub was chanting Obama's name. The person I was listening to the radio with went on to say 'And the Americans should not dare steal the vote in favour of John McCain. We will cause chaos on the streets of America. Tikanyauda konko! Adziwanso!'

I can only wish the Americans good luck in their voting.

Send this back

Have you noticed recently the amount of emails sent to you that ask you to reply if you are really a true friend. Hey pal, I know you but honestly speaking, you are not my friend!! If I could strike you off my friend list that would be one less person to send a Christmas card to.

Then there are the other emails that say if you don't forward the email to others, a great misfortune will befall you. They give you this list of tragedies that happened to other people. Get a life dude!!

If you think you are my friend and want to send me an email, just send me a joke. I prefer McCain-Palin jokes! A good one will earn you a seasons greeting in return!

"Please keep the hose Clear"

There are incidents worldwide of fire exits being blocked with stacks of supplies in work places and entertainment joints alike. Closer to home there have been stories of bakery owners locking up their staff over night so no ingredients are stolen.

This picture shows goods stacked up against a fire hose reel in a popular shop despite there being a sign that clearly reads PLEASE KEEP THE HOSE CLEAR.

Are the incidents we have heard of and seen not enough of a lesson??

Talk about hating your Mother-in-Law

A few years ago while I was teaching computer programming there was a young lady in my class. To protect the very guilty lets call her Thoko K. Now Thoko K had not paid up her fees so my boos and I decided on a Wednesday to tell her not to come to class until she had settled her bill. The next morning Thoko K and her dad turned up. Mr K told my boss and I that he had a few pressing commitments including a sick mother-in-law. To be specific he said “apongozi anga akudwala ndipo mosakayikakonse amwalira lero. Nde ndiyenera kukonzanso za maliro nde chonde chonde musamuthamangitse Thoko” (My mother-in-law is sick and by all means she will die today. So I will have to take care of all funeral expenses so please don’t bar Thoko from attending classes). I should say I was shocked and shaken. I very nearly gave him my hand so he could read my palm and tell me of my fate too!

Anyway that Thursday passed without incident. Friday came and went and Thoko was in class the whole day. Come Monday morning, Thoko came to class as jovial as ever. No sign whatsoever her grandma ‘had died recently’. It was only after lunch that Thoko got a message her grandma had finally succumbed to death.

Am not sure if Mr K was just very bad at predicting death or whether he had a great disliking of his mother-in-law, it was just quite chilling the way he put it!

Parties mum on running mates - who cares?

Have you noticed how if there is not any political news worth writing about (although lately it has not been worth reading anyway) the newspapers just write about how all the political parties in the country are mum on who will be the presidential running mates in May 2009! I mean really, even if we cared would it not be too early to start being told who those people would be. The US goes to the polls in four months time and we don't know the running mates yet. South Africa goes the polls a month ahead of us and I have not seen any fuss about who will partner JZ or Hellen Zille or any of the other party leaders. They are really making a fuss for nothing.

Tell us about the stock market next time there is nothing to write home about, it may just get us interesting in buying papers once again.

Creative ways of saying things

The other day at Multichoice I overheard a conversation

Person 1: Hi, what were you coming to do here?
Person 2: The channels on my decoder disappeared so I was coming to sort it out (machannel anathawa)

i.e. he had not paid and was going to settle his bill!

Another one I heard while on a ATM queue

Person 1: Hey you, you are taking long at the ATM. Are you fixing it or what?
Person 2: The ATM is giving problems

i.e. The account is depleted and there is no cash to dispense!

On Muluzi and Chilumpha

On the day the United Democratic Front held it's convention, it's chairman Bakili Muluzi granted an interview to the BBC. When asked why he would like to return as Malawi's president he said because Bingu wa Mutharika had dumped the party after he was elected president and as such he needed to return the UDF to power! This type of reasoning to me is not only gravely flawed but also defied all logic. Mr Muluzi needs to be reminded that people do not ascend to power to simply punish others or for the sake of being a ruling party. They are placed in positions of authority to serve the people and going by Muluzi's past record, that is not likely to feature high on his agenda. I am not one who listens to speeches made by politicians from either side of the political divide but when I have heard a minute or two of Muluzi's speeches they have carried very little substance and his messages are frequently unintelligent. We have seen what politics based on greed and retribution are doing to Zimbabwe. Malawians need not make that mistake here.

As for Cassim Chilumpha I would think the best thing to do would be to make a graceful exit from politics now. If yesterdays results are anything to go by, Chilumpha has no support base within the UDF - he polled 38 votes for the post of chairman out of around 2,000. Commentators predicted this outcome because of his behaviour of shunning party activities and not being in touch with the grassroots. President Mutharika also 'accepted his constructive resignation' for the same kind of attitude. I also recall that in one of the last cabinets of Bakili Muluzi, Chilumpha didn't attend the swearing in ceremony when he was named minister and never took up his post and we never really knew why. He 'constructively showed Muluzi his middle finger'. He treated Muluzi the way you and I treat those vendors who stuff cheap arse watches and pirated Nigerian DVD's in our car windows in the parking lot . And to top all this, he has a treason case looming over him. Kaka, exit this game. Things don't seem to be on your side! The message is clear you are more of a political liability than anything else.

Zimbabwe: Whose problem is it?

Zimbabwe has got a problem, a very big one for that matter. But whose problem is it really? Thabo Mbeki has told the rest of the world to butt out and let Africans resolve the problems in an African way. So it's not a world problem but an African one? But wait, at the SADC meeting in Lusaka the head of states said it was a Zimbabwean problem that would be resolved by Zimbabweans. So it's a Zimbabwean problem now? But Morgan Tsvangirai has been lobbying regional leaders to help resolve the problem. So it would seem it's not a Zimbabwean problem after all! It's a problem that seem to lack ownership.

However this big problem belongs to needs to claim responsibility for it and sort it out, pronto! We have brown nosed Mugabe enough and the problem even more! It's time to grab this bull by it's horns once and for all. Enough is enough. Timve zina abale!

Just tell your story!

I recently attended a social gathering and met up with a friend of mine, lets call him Peter. After a few minutes Peter’s friend came along and joined us. He started talking to Peter about an issue that I was unfamiliar with, some work related issue. Not wanting to interfere in their otherwise private matter I mentally turned off and looked the other way. To my surprise Peter’s friend elbowed me and asked “isn’t that so?”. Before I could ask isn’t what so, he continued with his story and once again elbowed me “sichoncho mdala?”. Dude, I have no idea what you are talking about and even if I did, why do you need me to ‘certify’ every sentence of your story!

You always tend to come across such people once in while who keep interrupting their story with ‘ukundimvetsetsa’ or ‘wamvetsa bwinobwino pamenepo’ or something of that nature. Then occasionally you get someone who is telling an outrageously silly and nonsensical story and everybody refuses to believe him. He then pulls out his cell phone and volunteers to call someone else to ‘certify’ his story. Hey dude, even if you called ten people, I still won’t believe your story in a hundred years. Give us a break and just tell your story. I’ll be the judge of whether it’s a real story or just one of those tales told at a gathering of herd boys besides the night time bon fire!

Hasn't Bakili been charged yet?

Last week former president Bakili Muluzi walked into Metro shop in Blantyre are left a blank cheque for 'shoppers' to pick anything they wanted and he would foot the bill. Normally where there is free stuff there is also pandemonium and many fixtures in the shop got damaged. Apparently some people had already gotten word that Muluzi would allow people to shop for free. A day later a K21 million bill stunned Muluzi and he demanded a stock take be carried out to determine the real cost.

All this caused losses for Metro and inconvenience for genuine shoppers. If Muluzi's intention was indeed genuine and sincere, he would have bought essentials and donated it to the needy and orphaned and buy things for ably bodied young democrats who most likely cleaned the alcohol shelves before they even thought of picking daily essentials. Instead he 'helps' the needy by taking single items of commodities like soap and cooking oil to campaign meetings, ridicules the government over high prices and donates those four or five items to people at the meeting. How cheeky!

My main concern is that this man has not been charged yet. We hear of cases where men were fighting over a woman and they have been arrested for conduct likely to cause a breach of peace. But here is a man whose actions threatened the lives of employees and genuine shoppers (Charge: Conduct likely to cause breach of peace), whose actions caused damage to property (Charge: Causing malicious damage to property), whose actions lead to financial losses as a result of refusing to pay a bill (Charge: Obtaining goods under false pretense). Hey, am sure our creative prosecutors can come up with many other flowery charges. He should also be sued for loss of business while Metro carried out an unscheduled stock take. Am sure any sensible shop owner is now contemplating obtaining a restraining order on this person. I would not want him anywhere near my shop!

Financial Management courses for tobacco farmers

It is the tobacco selling season in Malawi and farmers are reaping the benefits of their hard work. Take this case for example.

Four farmers in a district of the central region walked into a police station and asked for a police officer to escort them to the bank so they could withdraw their earnings. The policeman on duty was reluctant to release one of his men but eventually did so. The farmers walked in the bank and asked if their proceeds had been cleared and they had been, all K1,300,000 of it. The farmers filled out a withdrawal slip and handed it over the the teller. They withdrew all their money, took it and sat on the floor in a corner of the banking hall with the policeman standing sentry close by. The farmers shared the loot equally by placing the cash in the middle like a pack of cards with each one of them took turns picking a single K500 note at a time. This happened until they all had equally shared all of the money. Now note what each did with their loot.

- One of the farmers then took his share back to the teller to deposit into his account. Fair and good but that could have been doing without necessarily withdrawing it. making the poor teller count all that money.
- The second farmer took his share and packed it into a bag to go and show his wife after which he would come and deposit it back with the bank! Talk about seeing is believing.
- The third farmer took his share and started shopping at the trading centre. He bought bicycles, clothes, foodstuffs, you name it until he had no where to store his goods safely. Shop till you drop, perhaps?
- I don't want to even guess what the fourth farmer did with his share.

For the good security services rendered to the group, the policeman walked away with some K22,000. I can only imagine how many other people got handsome tips for watching over our third farmers goods or how many people drank free coffee in the surrounding tea rooms.

All this shows that most tobacco farmers are not good at managing their finances and urgently need some form of training. Maybe it's time Tobacco Association of Malawi, the banks and tobacco growers associations looked into the issue. Otherwise this hard earned cash will continue to be carelessly managed and needlessly wasted.

A decade is enough for any leader says Zuma

ANC president Jacob Zuma has hit the nail on the head. He has said and I quote

"You've got to have leaders who don't stay too much," Zuma said. "Ten years is enough. Beyond 10 years, politicians begin to personalise everything and there begin to have problems."

Mail & Guardian

Lets hope our greedy politicians, local and in the region alike, get the message loud and clear!

Breaking the tobacco cartel

A few days ago when President Mutharika returned from China, he took a swipe at opposition leaders for spreading lies that he is sick instead of talking about the good tobacco prices being offered at the auction floors. John Tembo hit back saying he does not need to stand at street corners signing praises to Bingu. He said he is happy with the prices but was surprised with the drop of prices two days into the auction.

Many people were more surprised with the extraordinarily high prices at the start of trading rather than with the drop of the prices. Tobacco fetched as high as $11 per kilogramme, a far cry from the highs of $2 last year for the same quality leaf. But fingers have again pointed to the tobacco cartel that Bingu has tried so hard to break up.

There is a worldwide shortage of tobacco despite strides made by the anti-smoking lobby. As such local tobacco buyers have large orders that they can't meet. In the past there was enough tobacco to go around the two or three buyers who were there at the time. This time around not only are their more players, there is not enough of the green gold as recently farmers have shunned growing the crop because of poor prices in the past. Rumour has it the high prices were an attempt by the cartel to frustrate the new comers, whom don't have the same financial muscle of the others, take them out and share the little leaf that's available.

It would seem that breaking this cartel will be much harder than originally thought!

Zokamba pa maliro

Sabata yatha ndinali pa maliro ena ake kwa Kauma, mpepete mwa New State House ku Lilongwe nde ndinatolapo zinthu zingapo zokamba anthu. Zina zoseketsa, zina zomvetsa chisoni

Maphwando ku Kanengo
Panali mdala wina wake amene wadya pension yake mu Spetember 2007. Ndinawayandikira nde amafotokozera anthu ena zama party amene ankachitika ku company kumene ankagwirako. Akuti ku company-ko akagulitsa makina yoposera K1million kunkalizidwa belo, ndekuti anthu onse adziwe kuti kuli kudya ndi kumwa. Mabwana amakagula mowa wokwana 60 litres ndi zakudya zosiyanasiyana ku Hungry Lion takeaway. Ndekuti kumakhala kudyerera usiku wonse mpakana pamene ankatoperapo. Zikatero mmawa anthu amabweretseratu mabotolo akale a Sobo a 2 litres kuti madzulo atungiremo mowa wotsalawo. Komatu masana onse anthu akugwira ntchito akuti amapita kumakatunganso pang’ono namwa mpakana tsiku kutha. Chimene chinandidabwitsa nkuti company imeneyi imagulitsa ma katapila (earth moving equipment) ndiyeno ngati phwando limachitika pakagulitsidwa katundu wa K1million ndekuti maphwando nde amachitika.

Akuba kusowetsa mtendere
Kwa Kauma ko akuba akusowetsa anthu mtendere osati masewera. Nde ena anzeru zawo zolosera akuti ku Mozambique kunayambanso choncho kuti nkhondo yapachiweniweni iyambike. Akuba ankaba mmanyumba mpakana katundu wa anthu anatha. Kenako anayamba kumaba mmagrocery. Katunda amaneyo atamaliza kuba anayamba kumaphana nkutibulana basi kenako nkhondo yapachiweniweni inayambika. Nde poti ndi ma neighbours a state house basi akuwona kuti nkhondo yayambika ndithu.

Mayi alira mwana wake
Tilikudikira ku mortuary ku central, mu chipatala munatuluka anamwino ndi trolley pali mtembo wa mwana, mbuyomo muli amayi olira kuperekeza malirowo. Malirowo atayikidwa mmortuary, azimayi aja anabwera kudzakhala pa kapinga pafupi nafe namafotokoza zimene zinawachitikira. Zimawoneka kuti anthu anabwera ndi mwana wodwalika ndithu koma azachipatala analephera kuwathandiza mpakana mwanayo kuwasiya. Akuti akaphempha kuti mwanayo awonedwe, amakalipiridwa kuti “Ndili ndi manja angati kodi ine? Ndiyankheni, ndilindi manja angati”. Azimayi aja kulephera kunena kuti alipo awiri inde koma tawonani mwanayu chibwerereni sanathandizidwe, koma amapitiriza kufunsa kuti manja alinawo angati. Masiku nkutha mpakana mwana kumwalira.

Ndikhulupirira kuti Chichewachi chinali chochakuka bwino! Pepani ngati muli mwina molakwika pokuti Chinyanja Spell Checker is still under development!!

Not-so-bright Convict

A man in Mzuzu, northern Malawi was recently convicted of robbery and theft and sentenced to seven years IHL by Mzuzu Magistrate court. Incensed with the 'harsh' sentence, the convict questioned the rationale of it all despite the fact that the stolen goods and money were recovered. The magistrate explained that robbery is a serious offense and deserved a befitting punishment. The convict got angry and in his divine wisdom decided to swear at the magistrate. For that he got an extra two years.

Lesson #1. Like the midwife, never swear at a magistrate before the court session is over.

A Bingu in Medvedev?

A few weeks ago there was a debate on BBC World radio about the US presidential race. One analyst cased his doubts on Barack Obama’s foreign policy experience. He expressed worry about what Obama would say when he would sit across the table from Vladimir Putin. The anchor reminded the analyst that Putin would be long gone by then. The analyst replied ‘Well, Putin will be sitting right behind his successor'.

Dmitry Medvedev is now president-elect of Russia and like Malawian president Bingu wa Mutharika, the former deputy prime minister was picked from relative obscurity to be the pall bearer of the ruling party. Like in Bingu and former president Bakili Muluzi's case, President Vladimir Putin has been appearing at most public functions and campaign rallies with Medvedev (some people have even said that Medvedev has started to walk and talk like Putin). Both Bingu and Medvedev were chosen over more 'obvious' candidates for the job. Muluzi basically overshadowed Bingu by retaining the all powerful position of UDF national chairman where Bingu was an ordinary executive committee member. Muluzi negotiated with bitter loser Gwanda Chakuamba on behalf of the president and rumours flew around that he also tried to fix the composition of Bingu's first cabinet. In Russia, Putin will remain a strong figure in the name of Prime Minister and Medvedev has already promised to tow the Putin line.

So are we likely to see a Bingu emerge in Medvedev? The Medvedev - Putin scenario seems no different from our local situation with one exception. Muluzi left office a largely unpopular figure. He twice tried to tamper with the constitution to allow him rule indefinitely. He presided over a government riddled with allegations of corruption, nepotism and financial mismanagement. Muluzi went from near bankrupt to multi-millionaire during his ten year reign acquiring real estate and a neat collection expensive cars. Many Malawians were happy to see the back of him. When Bingu decided to pour scorn on Muluzi and ditch the UDF he knew he had the sympathy of the majority of Malawians. In Russia Putin has also accumulated a considerable amount of wealth in the energy sector and some estimate his wealth at around $40 billion. There have also been allegations of dwindling democratic and press freedoms during his reign. But unlike Muluzi, he has presided over a period of strong economic growth and growing influence in Europe and beyond. Putin's popularity soared to the extent that most Russians would have loved him to continue to serve as president, a temptation he never fell for.

So are we likely to see Medvedev shedding off Putin and running his own show? Not very likely!

Bill Gates and Rats

Bill Gates can not boast of having started 2008 very well. On 31st January he made a $45 billion admission of failure, failure in the internet search arena. He made an unsolicited bid for Yahoo! that sent Microsoft shares tumbling some 15%. To add insult to injury, Yahoo! snubbed the offer days later. Next the European Union smacked the internet giant with it's biggest ever fine - a record $1.3 billion. Today Gates has been knocked off the top spot at the world richest person, a position he held unchallenged for thirteen years. In fact he has tumbled to third position behind US Investor Warren Buffet and Mexican telecom tycoon Carlos Slim Helú.

Being the Chinese year of the rat, I would suggest Bill invest's a few dollars in one. It could bring him some much needed good luck

Rumours and bad planning

In the past few years, Malawians have witnessed cut throat competition between mobile phone operators Celtel Malawi and TNM Limited in terms of marketing, promotions and roll out of value added services. Users have also joined in with accusations and counter accusations flying around that copycat tactics are employed by the two when rolling out services and promotions. The recent sales promotion of low cost handsets is no exception.

Rumour has it Celtel Malawi were the first to conceptualize the idea of selling as many as half a million low cost sim-blocked handsets in an effort to prop up their market share. The same rumour says Celtel Zambia recently rolled out a similar scheme using similar handsets. Another rumour however says TNM were the first to think of the promotion but that Celtel beat them at their own game. Which ever rumour is true or not is besides the point here. The point is that someone may not have necessarily done his homework very well.

Celtel announced that they would be selling a Chinese made handset for K3,900 in all it's shops, at filling stations and even at agricultural input outlets. The phones are network blocked and are, in my personal opinion, are actually quite cute. Concerns were expressed that being Zhing-zhong (cheap Chinese products), these handsets would not last past a few days and as such the promotion would fail. The reality on the ground was very different with large queue's being witnessed inside Celtel and other shops for the product. The alien name of the handset (one person comparing it to a Swedish car number plate) didn't deter many a people from owning a handset for the first time.

A few days later TNM brought out their product, a K4,700 Nokia handset set to counter the Celtel offering. They touted their handsets as being more robust as compared to an unknown Chinese brand. They quickly put Celtel on the back foot. Or did they? A certain section of private handset traders cried foul. The handset TNM was selling retails locally for around K7,000, some K2,300 more than the promotion price. The traders saw red. They saw little or no sales at all until at least the whole promotion was over and then that would really depend on when Celtel decided to pull the plug as they have more handsets to sell than TNM and, as is now tradition, TNM would have to run their promotion for as long as their rivals did. Next thing we hear is that there are no more TNM handsets on the market. Rumour has it staff as well as the traders have bought the handsets en-masse and are selling them on the black market at their 'normal' retail price of K7,000.

Whether this rumour is true or not, someone somewhere may not have done his homework very well.

Mugabe not mischevious enough

If comments made by R&B crooner Joe are anything to go by, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe should be embarrassed that his notoriety has not taken his name nor his country's very far. According to the MNet website Joe had never heard of Zimbabwe until recently.

'I did not know anything about this country until I came here,” Joe told a shocked gathering of journalists upon his arrival. He added that, “This is the most beautiful place to be. All this talk about these places being risky is the problem of the Western media and the perceptions it gives, but Akon [the Senegalese-born rapper] is putting Africa on the map.'

Akon brother, you have a huge task on your hands!! Uncle Bob has let us down!

Age ain't just a number

In the last few days a colleague of mine went to a local bank with the aim of accessing a personal loan. He was given the necessary forms and a template of a Letter of Undertaking for his employers to sign. He did all the necessary filling in and signing and took the forms and letter back to the bank. The officer attending to him received the forms and when through them to ensure completion. He then made a statement to the effect that this colleague should not be too confident his application will go through because of his age. No prizes for guessing what he meant. He looked at this young man with a small build and youthful face then thought how he could apply for 'so much money'? How on earth could such a youthful guy have so much money to spend nilly-willy without guidance from his parents or some other authority? For this bank officer, this guy was too young to get such a big loan.

But this officer made a few grave mistakes when he made that statement. Firstly the bank demanded he fill in an application form that he did. The form indicated he put the repayment amount that should be no more than 30% of the amount that is deposited into his account at the end of each month. The amount was within the 30% limit! He also brought a signed letter of undertaking from his employee guaranteeing that they will not only remit his salary to the bank for the duration of the loan repayment period but also pay the outstanding balance should their employee die, resign or somehow default. That is all the bank asked for. Unless he previously defaulted on a loan or was involved in some kind of fraud, I personally see no reason for denying him access to a loan.

Secondly either this officer didn't do his mental arithmetic well or for some strange reason thinks that a 26 year old male is still a boy who can't handle his own finances. It is a known fact, and there are plenty examples in society today, that there are some 40 year old men who have still not grown up and should walk around with pacifiers in their mouths. There are also examples of 21 year olds who have excelled at such a young age and manage successful businesses with healthy turnovers. So age should not be a single reason for rejection of a loan of a few thousands of Kwacha's.

Lastly it should appreciated that not all information collected on application forms will be used to determine eligibility for a loan unless of course that was and is the sole aim of this particular bank. If it is the case then I can rightly assume that women will have problems getting loans as will someone who uses TNM as opposed to Celtel as could be the case if one were simply a clerk and not a manager. In most marketing oriented companies data is collected for purposes of building customer databases that can later be used for marketing purposes or for research. It is also common knowledge that the central bank requires detailed information on customers to enable it deal effectively with money laundering and other criminal activities.

This attitude towards customers in general and the 'youthful' in particular just goes to justify an earlier post I made about the Fear of Failure amongst Malawians. It would seem that age is just not a number for some people. It is a barrier to achieving goals. It is a number that determines whether one succeeds in life of not. In some people's minds it sits at par with other elements such as sex, religion and tribe and must be used at all costs to hinder progress of mankind. It's time to change our attitude to change our country's destiny.

The cancer of not honouring utility bills

Sometime in October last year, my wife and I sold a house of ours in Blantyre. The house was being occupied by a tenant and the premises managed by Ching'onga Estate Agents. When the tenant vacated the house he left electricity and water bills unpaid. The issue dragged until November when ESCOM disconnected the power on a Friday morning. Knowing that the agents would not pay in time before the 3pm deadline to get power restored on the same day and not wanting the new owner to not have power over a weekend, we took out money and paid the outstanding bills and reconnection fees. I applied the pressure on Ching'onga to give me back my money but they kept insisting they could not trace the old tenant. So I told them to give me their money so they can sort out the old tenant issue later, after all they didn't do their job properly by letting his vacate without settling his bills. In December I managed to get half of the money. The excuse was that the accountant only knew of the electricity bill and not the water one. In January, tired of having to call them every other day, I asked whether they would give me my money or not. After a few minutes of evading the question, they rudely admitted that they would not pay me. End of conversation. Here is a so-called reputable estate agent who demands a percentage of rentals as management fees yet fails to ensure all things are in order. I will not go into the other issues that came about at the transfer of ownership as this entry is dealing with utility bills.

It never ceases to amaze me why people don't care about paying their utility bills. In 2001 when I occupied a house in Area 18 in Lilongwe, I found the water bill at just over K20,000 and it had been like that for months on end. When I approached the former tenant, he agreed to pay the bill but didn't. It was only after Lilongwe Water Board (LWB) disconnected the water and I piled the pressure on this guy that he went to LWB and had the water reconnected. It would appear he paid some K8,000 and asked LWB to reconnect. Upon further investigation it transpired that he had connections in the system who would simply reconnect the supply once it was disconnected hence the large bill. two weeks later he finished paying of the remaining K12,000.

Four years later I moved into a compound of houses that had just been built. These new houses had water and electricity but no account numbers were given to us by the developer. I took it upon myself to find the account numbers and start paying the bills. After some five months, while I was on vacation, I saw a contingent of ESCOM employees in the compound, ladders in hand. They had come to disconnect power for outstanding bills. Of the five houses that had been occupied at the time, only ours survived having the power line removed from the roof. Reason? Our neighbours could not be bothered to find their account numbers, let alone pay their bills. Some ended up with very high bills accumulated over the past months that they had to pay in full before supply was restored.

Last year in January I moved out of a house in Area 3 and pinned up the water and electricity bills on the closet door so the owner could take note and change the address. Thirteen months later I still receive the bills, most of the time the bill has aged past 90 days.

There are many other cases of people who don't bother paying utility bills, some being influential people in society. Ironically these are the very same people who bad mouth utility companies for non-performance. Who do they expect them to perform if they are financially handicapped because they have not been paid for services rendered? Some people never cease to amaze!

Kenya violence disturbing, chilling

At the start of the election violence in Kenya, the country's high commissioner in London played down the incidents and scale of violence in a BBC interview. Three to four weeks later the violence does not only seem to have spread but the ferocity of it all is alarming. Scene's played on Euronews showing a man being beaten to death is shocking. Similar scenes shown weeks earlier on CNN were equally disturbing. Visuals of youths roaming the streets with knives and pangas are beamed day in, day out. Reports of people being burnt alive in their homes are aired daily. Reports that Raila Odinga attended a prayer meeting two weeks ago where his supporters displayed placards written 'Give us Guns and we will show them' were chilling.

In all this mayhem and destruction, Kenya's leaders seem oblivious to the long term damage these killings are having on the people, the country and the sub-region. Neither Kibaki nor Odinga has come out strongly to reign in their supporters and put an end to this senseless slaughter. We have just heard that an ODM parliamentarian has been shot dead early this morning in Nairobi. The stakes have been raised! The poor man is being used as a pawn in this deadly game of dirty politics!! God save Kenya!!

Old map of Malawi

I am looking for an exact or similar map of Malawi pictured on the left. The one I have is damaged and would really love to replace it. It features Nyasaland time names and pictures of wildlife. A bigger (and hopefully clearer) picture can be viewed here.

China: the new buzz word

On our way to drop our child at school this morning, he asked us (again!) where the plane on the Air Zimbabwe billboard was going to. Fed up of giving the same answer, my wife responded 'it's going to China'. The inquisitive little boy then asked 'kukavina? (is it going to dance in China?)'. Not knowing what to say, my wife and I just looked at each other and laughed.

China is the new buzz word in town. Newspaper articles, commentaries and conversations at the pubs. One person even suggested our schools start teaching Chinese in anticipation of both the 'influx' and for our children to know the language so as to assist them on their future trips to the people's republic.

Talking of the 'influx' reports say in the past month the Immigration department has received 400 visa application from China. Whether this figure is exaggerated or not Malawian's better brace themselves for an influx in both human and non-human form.

What's eating the UDF?

Recently there have been accusations flying around as to what or who is causing divisions in the UDF. Most fingers have pointed in the direction of the government, the DPP and the state president. For some strange reason these accusers are failing to see that either the source of divisions is right next to them within the party or that they are actually the source of all confusion. Or maybe it's a case of having their heads stuck somewhere heads are not traditionally supposed to be so much so that they can't see the writing on the wall nor smell the coffee!

The long and short of it all is that greed within the hierarchy of the party is the source of all problems in the UDF. Greed is eating the UDF! Greed is destroying the UDF!

Enter the Dragon

Taiwan's government suffered a double-blow of the weekend; The governing DPP sustained a heavy loss to the nationalists in parliamentary elections that has lead to the president resigning as the party's chairman and it lost a 42 year old ally in Malawi. Malawi has switched allegiance to mainland China in return for several investment projects.

Reaction has mainly been positive. Some commentators says that with Malawi not signing the EPA agreement championed by the EU, Malawi needed a similarly big bloc to ensure a continuation of trade. Others say the Shire-Zambazi Waterway project that China has promised to finance will bring about big benefits to Malawi by providing a transport corridor to the sea for Malawi Zambia and Zimbabwe, countries in which China has great investments. Others view China as an emerging superpower worth having diplomatic relations with.

Then there are those who say Malawi is sleeping with the devil citing China's appalling human rights record, a claim some have rubbished. "We maintain cordial relation with Zimbabwe, a country with a horrible right record. So what is the benchmark we are using to determine who not to have relation with" one commentator said.

However we still need answers to many questions which the ministry of foreign affairs has promised to provide. My most pressing is apart from promising to buy tobacco and uranium from Malawi, what else are they likely to buy? Is Mainland China an open market for Malawian businesses? Will it not be one way traffic for cheap (and sometimes lethally toxic) goods?

Politicians without Issues

I was neither shocked nor surprised when I read in the papers that JZU Tembo had lashed out at President Bingu wa Mutharika saying he (Bingu) was trying to copy Late Kamuzu Banda's style of leadership. Tembo told a rural rally that Bingu can not be like Kamuzu because amongst other things Kamuzu never kept a beard like Bingu's!! Such irrelevant outbursts remind me of a time during the 1999 election campaign when one Gwanda Chakuamba told a rally that people should not re-elect then President Bakili Muluzi because he had a mole on his face!! We all remember Bakili's outbursts towards presidential aspirant Justine Malewezi's health. We remember a group of UDF women, including one Joyce Banda, dressing down parliamentary aspirant Anna Kachiko (then now sit in the same cabinet)! Remember the mudslinging in parliament between Loveness Gondwe and Patricia Kaliati! Remember Dr Ntafu referring to his fellow parliamentarians as dogs!

Are these the issues which people want to hear about, really?

Local Content

Two years ago while at a film makers and distributors conference an issue was raised about film and documentary distribution in Africa particularly English speaking countries. I learnt that most television stations prefer to broadcast local country content above anything else. Stations like SABC Africa only accept and buy material with an African theme and that occasionally they decline new content because they already have too much material yet to be broadcast.

This brings me back home. A few years ago TVM used to broadcast a range of programmes from around Africa and beyond all the way to Republic of China. I can’t competently comment on whether this is still the case. However I can say that the station does sometimes constantly repeat some of it’s locally produced programmes, most outdated, and it has been the subject of many debates and commentaries. One can draw a few conclusions as to why this is the case.

TVM does not like buying content and I speak from experience. The station prefers to be paid for any content it gets even in the case where I assume they would not have anything to broadcast other than programmes that have already been broadcast before. The station is not usually known to go and collect news items either without being ferried to the location for free in addition to be paid too. We have all heard about musicians paying to have their music videos aired.

Another reason for repeats I can only guess could be the insistence on airing local content. While the argument for local content has it’s merits, it can also pose challenges. In a country where film and video production is neither encouraged nor adequately rewarded, it will always be difficult to find locally produced television material and good quality work for that matter. For those who are in the trade video production equipment is not only expensive but very hard to come across locally without having to make a trip south of the Limpopo to find a wide range and a good deal. Regional and African productions will obviously not be an option as the producers demand payment for their work, a practice alien to TVM.

So what’s the solution? Perhaps it’s time for relevant stakeholders to actively encourage, recognize and reward local film producers in an effort to create a wide variety of local produced material. The solution could also lie in the fact that the world is virtually so much smaller than most people think and that local content is no longer relevant to society. Or perhaps the problem lies within TVM itself – the culture, ethics and style.