bank driving me up the wall!!

I have been a faithful customer at National Bank for over a decade now, I think, and I can say that am generally happy with the services am offered there. I take issue with one or two things but thats only natural. Recently I had wanted to get a loan and decided to take it through my bank as usual but my employer would not provide the letter of undertaking because she thought I better take it through another bank my employer has an account with. After much resistance I went to get the loan there and within a few minutes I had the cash in hand but this was after I had to open an account. Fair deal!

Soon after opening the account, I was quickly approached by some lady in the banking hall (not sure what her title should be) who had me sign ATM card forms. No problem, I love ATM cards. I was told the card would be ready in two weeks time. They promptly deducted K500 from my account for the card. I checked after 2 weeks, no card, after another 2 weeks, no card. Apparently the machine had broken down since the 1st of January. After 3 weeks still no card. After another 2-3 weeks, I finally found the cards had come but it could not be given to me because they had just arrived and they needed to check my picture, my name and account number to make sure they correspond! Fine, then check those details while am here! nope, I was told to come back the next day. From past experience, I didn't go the next day - maybe the machine that verifies those details also went down on the 1st of February, you never know. I went a week later and was promptly given my card in some poxy plastic pouch to which i was told they would deduct K100 from my account for it. I told them to keep the pouch, i'd put the card in my wallet to which the lady responded it will break because other people's cards have been breaking. So I told her it's the card quality then because I have had numerous cards from National Bank, Commercial Bank, my driving license and other cards in my wallet for years and they have never snapped or broken. She quickly said that if I don't sit properly at the pub it could break! (And how does this person know I go to pubs to drink? She's a witch! Burn her!). I told her I don't need her pouch to which she said she would just give it to me! (please give one each to everyone else on the line behind me too). She then directed me to get my pin from another desk where the woman there could not find my pin! At this point I was starting to pull my hair out. When the young lady can in to intervene, she promptly found my pin, handled it over to and said the card will only start working the next day!!! Sure, I've waited for three months, another day can't be that bad!!!!

Be on the lookout for such banks, they will drive you nuts!!

Put it back where you found it!

Don't you just hate those people who come to your desk, pick up a book, flip through it then just toss it back onto your desk! I mean, Hey, where did they leave their manners? Up a tree? Put things back where you find them. I didn't put the book where it was for no reason, moron!

Naija movies

The other day I took a road trip to South Africa via Linking Africa coach. We left at 10am and were immediately served with hot lunch which i kept but which some guy quickly helped himself too, found much needed strength and kept the bus entertained until Mwanza border post, some 1 hour+ away. Once we entered Mozambique, he slept like a baby while we chewed on our now cold chips and chicken!! I now saw the sense in his madness.

Anyway with him quietly sleeping away I thought I was in for a peaceful ride until the next border post. Nope! The hostess decided it was time to watch a Naija (Nigerian) movie titled Billionaire's Club. Now am not one to watch a west african movie but the view of the dense thicket outside the window was not that exciting either. Coupled with all the shouting and screaming associated with Naija movies, I was forced to watch. Now check this out, the Mozambique stretch is some 3 - 4 hours and I tell you the movie dragged through all this time until we got to the Zimbabwe border where the film seemed to end. After the border formalities we left and guess what? The hostess slotted in a movie conveniently titled Billionaire's Club Part 2!!! SOMEONE PLEASE SHOOT ME!!!! Well, at least throw me off the bus!! I can't stand this any longer. If I had hair, I tell you I would have arrived in Harare bold. And boy did the second part drag as much as the first part. Luckily the film ended before Harare, after that we slept and woke up at the South African border. From there we were entertained to some Malawian music video's, which was okay, to say it mildly. After our stay, we gladly jumped back on the Linking Africa coach and guess what movie they put in?? Take one good guess. Yup! Yup! PLEASE SHOOT ME!!! PLEEEEAAASSE!!

I took that trip some 2 years and would have imagined that with time Nollywood would have matured from long dragging films, screaming, shouting and the large number of people who turn into snakes and other strange creatures. Nope! 3 days ago I happened 'to catch' the last 40 minutes of a Naija film. Boy oh boy! Shock horror!! No difference at all. But you should have seen the lady I found watching the film. She was over the moon and must have wished the 3 hour long movie had not come to an end.

Reinvent aChimpeni

A long time ago there used to be this radio advert from the veterinary division warning people that aChimpeni would be in a particular area shooting stray dogs. It advised people to always keep dogs on a chain or in an enclosure. It went further to warn people that aChimpeni would blow his whistle twice (adzayimba pinto kawiri asanawombere) before shooting just in case he caught someones leg instead of the dogs neck. Well a decade or more has passed since I heard that advert. I can also safely assume the same period of time has elapsed since any dogs were shot because these creatures seem to be a nuisance now more than ever before especially in Lilongwe. And for you to witness this first hand, just drive through Area 15 and see for yourself.

They are everywhere in large numbers too. They will either be a large group following a female dog. Or they will be fighting and chasing each other. The other day I found one taking a crap right in the middle of the road!! How cheeky!! He was bloody lucky my car does not have a bullbar, I would have knocked some sense into him.

But honestly, these dogs are a menace to society. They pose a threat to pedestrians, cyclists and motorists alike. They need to be retrained and the only person I feel can do that is our beloved Mr. Chipeni and his greener (maybe an Ak-47 would be more efficient in this day and age)!!