Over the past few weeks and months, a number of traffic lights have been installed in places which previously didn't have them or vandalised one's have been replaced. These devices were placed there with the aim of brining sanity to the roads of Lilongwe. Unfortunately there are a few cowboys and cowgirls on the roads who have great disrespect for these expensive traffic regulators.
Over the past weekend I happened to be waiting patiently, like most other sane drivers, for the robots to turn green. And green they turned. What happens next? Some cowgirl appeared from nowhere and drove straight into my path and stopped right in front of me because the line she was joining was backed up for some reason. Then she looks at me, frown on her face, and muttered some words which I didn't get to hear. I was temped to roll down my window and spew out her some carefully selected choice words but the good side of me told me no. I was taught as a child never to argue with fools and idiots!
I think it's time people started respecting traffic regulations. In this case, this woman jumped a red light but still went nowhere because there was a jam in front of her. She also ran the risk of bashing my car and injuring me and others in the process. Traffic police need to get on top of this situation to avoid anarchy on ours roads. Police in Blantyre at one point brought about strict traffic light compliance, Lilongwe should do the same. The road traffic department also needs to plug the source of fake licenses, like the one this lady is obviously in possession of.
Lets flush out this insanity on the roads of our beautiful city.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Zinkhoswe
I still remember some eight or more years ago when I was getting engaged traditionally - Chinkhoswe. It was a very cold June afternoon at my wife's parents house. I was waiting in a room for the function to begin with my brother-in-law (not my wifes brother) and someone else. My BIL suggested they go and buy some brandy for me to drink so I 'blend' into the function nicely. I resisted for many reasons, chief amongst them being in the cold weather, I would be required to make frequent trips to the shanks. My resistance was futile. He left with this other person and promised to be back in no time. I started devising ways of how I was going to avoid that drink like a plague. To my relief they never returned. It later turned out that as they were on the way to buy the potent substance, they stumbled across a friend's braai in the area and got carried away. They returned to the chinkhoswe hours later but with no brandy in hand - they had forgotten the purpose of their mission.
I sat through the chinkhoswe just fine. My wife and I and our 'assistants' sat on a mphasa (reed mat) under a tree in the garden the whole time. It was not the most comfortable sitting experience but once in a while I stood up and that took away the discomfort. But then a new discomfort found it's way in the new shoes I was wearing which were rather tight. I also remember there was the akuchikazi (the brides side) out singing akuchimuna (the grooms side). Our side was constantly bailed out by a sister-in-law of mine and my sisters. Otherwise I can admit here and now that we were seriously outnumbered and outplayed in the singing department. Then there was the kufupa (giving money) when a metal dish was deliberately placed in front of us so that when someone was giving us advice, a coin would be thrown in to spice up the event. Otherwise it was a great event and very traditional.
Over the years I have noticed great differences in how zinkhoswe's are being held. The signing ladies and drums are long gone, the events are rarely held in the parents backyard, the mphasa is not a seat of choice anymore and that metal plate is no longer welcome.
I am not a known advocate of preservation of traditional practices but I would love to see that culture maintained and strengthened. Nevertheless all zinkhoswe's are fun!
I sat through the chinkhoswe just fine. My wife and I and our 'assistants' sat on a mphasa (reed mat) under a tree in the garden the whole time. It was not the most comfortable sitting experience but once in a while I stood up and that took away the discomfort. But then a new discomfort found it's way in the new shoes I was wearing which were rather tight. I also remember there was the akuchikazi (the brides side) out singing akuchimuna (the grooms side). Our side was constantly bailed out by a sister-in-law of mine and my sisters. Otherwise I can admit here and now that we were seriously outnumbered and outplayed in the singing department. Then there was the kufupa (giving money) when a metal dish was deliberately placed in front of us so that when someone was giving us advice, a coin would be thrown in to spice up the event. Otherwise it was a great event and very traditional.
Over the years I have noticed great differences in how zinkhoswe's are being held. The signing ladies and drums are long gone, the events are rarely held in the parents backyard, the mphasa is not a seat of choice anymore and that metal plate is no longer welcome.
I am not a known advocate of preservation of traditional practices but I would love to see that culture maintained and strengthened. Nevertheless all zinkhoswe's are fun!
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Get serious Muluzi!
Over the past three years since leaving the presidency, Bakili Muluzi has frequently made headline news, too many times for no good reason. Recently he spoke in his home district saying he would like to remove Bingu from his seat because he (Bingu) is arrogant. Now come on, get serious! One day he says he will remove him because he is ungrateful. The next he says because he wants to stabilse commodity prices (now that made a great laugh). Bakili has this string of reasons to remove Bingu, none of which can be taken seriously. This man should seriously consider consulting Dr Ntafu on whether brain implants are possible or not first before he considers running for the high office again.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
A Malawi with better internet connections soon?
Last week I attended the ICT Fair organised by the Malawi Chambers of Commerce and Industry in Lilongwe. Amongst the usual displays was one by Malawi Telecommunication Limited. They were showcasing wireless internet PCMCIA cards that they said can provide internet access at speeds of 115kbps. Although coverage is limited to a few urban and semi-urban areas, it should be a popular alternative to fixed wireless and dial-up services. A representative at the stand said he expects monthly costs to average around K14,000.
In a similar development, Celtel Malawi has launched GPRS services after select customers tested the service for a little over a month. Initial pricing is 19 units (19 cents) per megabit with an expected increase in cost. However, the pricing does not sound too bad.
This development should cause alarm bells ringing in the corridors of the major internet service providers. With setup costs at almost zero, these ISP's really need to come up with innovative ideas to retain it's current customer base. One problem I can foresee however is that despite being promised 115kbps, the reality is that we shall all be sharing some very measly up-link which will in turn keep up firmly in the stone age of internet communication.
In a similar development, Celtel Malawi has launched GPRS services after select customers tested the service for a little over a month. Initial pricing is 19 units (19 cents) per megabit with an expected increase in cost. However, the pricing does not sound too bad.
This development should cause alarm bells ringing in the corridors of the major internet service providers. With setup costs at almost zero, these ISP's really need to come up with innovative ideas to retain it's current customer base. One problem I can foresee however is that despite being promised 115kbps, the reality is that we shall all be sharing some very measly up-link which will in turn keep up firmly in the stone age of internet communication.
G4S Rapid ... err, Snail Response
Over the past few months things have surprisingly grown legs at my house and disappeared. Empty bottle crates, a spare car tyre, an iron, shoes, etc. Two weeks ago I rounded up my employees and told them to spill the beans. Naturally none did but at the end of it all I had my suspect.
Early this morning my gardener reported that his cell phone had gone missing and he strongly suspected the guard who had just left. The gardener had chased after the guard by bike but didn't manage to catch up with him. So he was simply reporting the event. Some 5 minutes later the guard turned up, cell in hand. He had come to confess his evil act. The story line was all too familiar 'Satana anandilowa koma Mulungu wandiuza kuti ndibweze' (Satan over came me but God has told me to return). With the events of the past months, I seized my chance to ask him about the things that had gone missing in the past. Naturally, again, he denied any knowledge. I threatened him by saying he would be taken to a police station. Ohhh, a gash of tears poured from his eyes accompanied with pleas saying he had never been arrested before and would not like to face the 'soldiers'. Dude, you should have thought about the consequences first!!
Not wanting to make a trip to the Police station (for very well known reasons) I decided to press my panic alarm button at 06:05. The service is provided by Group 4 Securicor. 5 minutes no response. I pressed another one thinking that one was faulty. another 5 minutes no response. So my wife decided to call the control centre. The excuse was that the response team in the area was attending to another call so they would be there 'soon'. At 06:20 I called them and the control centre and was told the team got lost but were now on their way. At 06:45 I called again to be told they were supposed to be at the house. I called the 'in-charge' of the team who never picked up the phone. I gave up. My wife called another three times to follow up and was told stories of getting lost and going to the Majika's house (instead of Madinga). The 'Rapid Response' team only arrived at 07:05 by which time the guard had made a run for it!!! Their story? They were actually just starting their shift and that the night shift was supposed to attend to our call. So now who does one listen too - the team or the control centre? Why did the team get 'lost' in the first place when in actuall fact this is not the first time they have come to the house? What was their reaction when they visited the Majika's house and found that no alarm had been pressed? Did they notify the control centre? If they did, what did the control centre do about it? G4S's conduct raises so many questions.
Here we were dealing with a single petty cell phone thief in broad daylight who handed himself in. What would have happened if we were dealing with a group of gun tooting and panga wielding armed robbers in the dead of night?
Early this morning my gardener reported that his cell phone had gone missing and he strongly suspected the guard who had just left. The gardener had chased after the guard by bike but didn't manage to catch up with him. So he was simply reporting the event. Some 5 minutes later the guard turned up, cell in hand. He had come to confess his evil act. The story line was all too familiar 'Satana anandilowa koma Mulungu wandiuza kuti ndibweze' (Satan over came me but God has told me to return). With the events of the past months, I seized my chance to ask him about the things that had gone missing in the past. Naturally, again, he denied any knowledge. I threatened him by saying he would be taken to a police station. Ohhh, a gash of tears poured from his eyes accompanied with pleas saying he had never been arrested before and would not like to face the 'soldiers'. Dude, you should have thought about the consequences first!!
Not wanting to make a trip to the Police station (for very well known reasons) I decided to press my panic alarm button at 06:05. The service is provided by Group 4 Securicor. 5 minutes no response. I pressed another one thinking that one was faulty. another 5 minutes no response. So my wife decided to call the control centre. The excuse was that the response team in the area was attending to another call so they would be there 'soon'. At 06:20 I called them and the control centre and was told the team got lost but were now on their way. At 06:45 I called again to be told they were supposed to be at the house. I called the 'in-charge' of the team who never picked up the phone. I gave up. My wife called another three times to follow up and was told stories of getting lost and going to the Majika's house (instead of Madinga). The 'Rapid Response' team only arrived at 07:05 by which time the guard had made a run for it!!! Their story? They were actually just starting their shift and that the night shift was supposed to attend to our call. So now who does one listen too - the team or the control centre? Why did the team get 'lost' in the first place when in actuall fact this is not the first time they have come to the house? What was their reaction when they visited the Majika's house and found that no alarm had been pressed? Did they notify the control centre? If they did, what did the control centre do about it? G4S's conduct raises so many questions.
Here we were dealing with a single petty cell phone thief in broad daylight who handed himself in. What would have happened if we were dealing with a group of gun tooting and panga wielding armed robbers in the dead of night?
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Jack Up TVM - Part 2
I am not too sure if Parliaments allocation of K1 to TVM for financial year 2007-2008 has already started affecting operations because it would seem there is no editor at the station.
Last Saturday morning I was watching sports while waiting to see a doctor at a local clinic. The presenter gave us a list of English Premiership games to be played on the day or weekend and it looked something like this
Man U vs Weagan (Wigan perhaps?)
New Castle Vs ....... (I am certain it's Newcastle)
Bermingham vs ........ (the last time i checked it was Birmingham)
am sure if I could pause it I would have picked up more errors.
Then last night they spelt veteran politician Rose Chibambo's name as Chiwambo. Any editor worth his or her salt would know that is incorrect.
We have seen many errors in the past on our lovely tv station but I thought it was now a thing of the past. I have heard rumours recently that TVM has gone satellite and can be caught in most parts of southern Africa. Am not sure we would want to show the 'world' that we can't spell properly.
Jack up guys, please!
Last Saturday morning I was watching sports while waiting to see a doctor at a local clinic. The presenter gave us a list of English Premiership games to be played on the day or weekend and it looked something like this
Man U vs Weagan (Wigan perhaps?)
New Castle Vs ....... (I am certain it's Newcastle)
Bermingham vs ........ (the last time i checked it was Birmingham)
am sure if I could pause it I would have picked up more errors.
Then last night they spelt veteran politician Rose Chibambo's name as Chiwambo. Any editor worth his or her salt would know that is incorrect.
We have seen many errors in the past on our lovely tv station but I thought it was now a thing of the past. I have heard rumours recently that TVM has gone satellite and can be caught in most parts of southern Africa. Am not sure we would want to show the 'world' that we can't spell properly.
Jack up guys, please!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
nation wide black out
Electricity Supply Corporation (ESCOM) employees were on strike for a good part of the week, demanding portions of their pension contributions. Management seemed to have been pushing the blame to their fund managers for the cook up. It was a strike I was not very interested in and as such don't really have the details.
However on Tuesday morning I was shocked when I heard that the striking staff had threatened to switch off power to the whole country to force management to meet their demands. Now here is a corporation that does not necessarily have widespread public sympathy. To add insult to injury, they wanted to punish 12 million people because of some in-house incompetence of theirs? They have the cheek! At any point did they imagine that someone could be on an operating table at the time they would have pulled the plug? I guess not even though you don't necessarily have to be a rocket scientist to think of that. Shame on you guys!
However on Tuesday morning I was shocked when I heard that the striking staff had threatened to switch off power to the whole country to force management to meet their demands. Now here is a corporation that does not necessarily have widespread public sympathy. To add insult to injury, they wanted to punish 12 million people because of some in-house incompetence of theirs? They have the cheek! At any point did they imagine that someone could be on an operating table at the time they would have pulled the plug? I guess not even though you don't necessarily have to be a rocket scientist to think of that. Shame on you guys!
Jack up TVM
This month I have had the great misfortune of having my DStv service disconnected and it is no fault of Multichoice. As such I was forced to watch some local TV. I must say that I was pleasantly impressed by two adverts, one a TNM one and another by Daily Times. They were refreshing and different. I am more than certain they were not cooked up in a TVM studio! There were one or two other usual ad's, very easy to forget.
I was however dismayed with the news. The content was propaganda. The news interviews a disgrace. The same old tricks from the times of Brown Mpinganjira. When will TVM realise we want to watch news and not a group of people bashing the speaker on an issue the group itself seemed clueless about? We want issues and not footage of people masquerading as political defectors. It's time TVM jacked up!
I was however dismayed with the news. The content was propaganda. The news interviews a disgrace. The same old tricks from the times of Brown Mpinganjira. When will TVM realise we want to watch news and not a group of people bashing the speaker on an issue the group itself seemed clueless about? We want issues and not footage of people masquerading as political defectors. It's time TVM jacked up!
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